At least some of these came from Jeff Foxworthy, though some really don't apply as much as others. Still, enough of them fit, that they are amusing.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day, hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Alaska.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's 'too spendy', you might live in Alaska.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Alaska. (I'm not sure there ARE any DQs in AK.)
If someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you might live in Alaska.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Alaska.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Alaska. (If you happily don your shorts when the temperature gets up to 40F because you think it is warm outside, you definitely belong to OUR Alaska family.)
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Alaska.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Alaska.
Other signs of a sourdough:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a truck plowing snow on the highway.
2. 'Vacation' means going to Valdez....or Outside...or to the lower 48.
3. You measure distance in hours. (It is about 6 hours to Valez.)
4. You know several people who have hit a moose more than once.
5. You often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again. (This surely didn't apply to us as we never had or needed A/C!)
6. Many folks wear blue jeans to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
8. You see people wearing camouflage (or Carhartts) at social events (including weddings).
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10 You think of the major food groups as salmon and Sailor Boy Pilot Bread.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, 'til winter and road construction. (We always said 9 months of winter and 3 months of tough sledding.)
16. You can identify a southern or eastern accent. (Certainly we could hear the Texas accent!)
17. You know how to polka.
I'm sure you creative ones could think of many more to add to this list. For example:
You can and do make Christmas ornaments and jewelry out of moose droppings. any others?
I am told that times have changed. There are now Dairy Queens in Anchorage, Palmer and Wasilla. I do not know if they close in winter.
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