Memories

   Before everyone left to return to their homes, they helped me with several projects around the house.  One of those was to decide what to do with Roger’s clothing.  The pall bearers at the funeral all wore (and then kept) one of his ties.  The girls wanted to do something with his shirts, so we salvaged the fabric and put it aside for the future.
   Some weeks later some of the girls came back.  While everyone was working on various projects, Kathleen took out the fabric pieces and made squares out of the shirt sleeves.  Then she laid them out with sashing between the squares and sewed the quilt top together.  We even found a little Alaska Grown patch on one of his hats that we made part of the quilt.  Before she left we put the quilt on the frames.

 

   Jana embroidered the message on the back of the quilt.

   While I was taking Kathleen to the airport, Joey and Robert arrived.  While they were visiting, they helped me  tie the quilt.  

   Once the binding was done, I mailed it to Roger’s mom up in Alaska in his memory.

 

 

 

    Eventually we will make 6 more quilts from the shirt scraps that are left…one for me and one for each of the children.
  

Primrose 43 Signs Off

 Primrose 43 Signs Off

   2020 wasn’t my favorite year ever with earthquakes, fires, floods and then the appearance of the dreaded Covid-19 virus.  Suddenly we had to stay home all the time and learned a new term, “social distancing”.   If we had to go out, we were encouraged to wear masks.  People lost jobs, businesses closed, school ended two months early. Still, we congratulated ourselves on being able to endure life better than many.  Because we were retired, we didn’t worry about jobs and income.  We didn’t have children in school, so we didn’t have to take on home schooling with everything else.  It was certainly an inconvenience, but not a large crisis in our lives.
  When we started social distancing in March, little was known about how the virus was spread or how it was best treated.  We were used to running errands whenever we wanted, but now tried our best to find other ways to do things. We ordered our groceries online from the local grocery store and picked them up in the parking lot. We tried to adjust to shopping online for other things, too.
   I kept two lists on the kitchen counter; one for items we needed to buy and one of projects to be done. I tried to put household projects on the list a few at a time.  We planted and weeded the garden. We picked the strawberries, We painted the shed. We started a long term project of clearing out the herb garden because it was becoming too much for me to take care of.  
   One day we drove to the family cabin near Mantua where we did a socially distanced hike with my sister and brother-in-law, Eileen and Clark.  Another day we stopped by the cabin to visit and found Eileen and Clark digging up a hawthorn tree or bush.  Roger started helping with it and started chopping away at it with a dull chain saw and a shovel.  While digging, he lost his balance and ended up on his back on the ground.  He got right up and started working again.  
   When summer came, working outside was more pleasant in the morning before it got too hot.  I wanted to dig up a pot of lemon balm for a friend, but I couldn’t get it out, so I went to my usual source for help.  He had already gone out walking earlier that morning and was relaxing by watching some sort of documentary in his recliner, but paused it so he could come out and help me.  After looking over the situation, he went to the shed and came back with a shovel.  The plant was actually in a plastic five gallon bucket we had sunk down into the ground, so he had to slip the edge of the shovel blade down the inside of the bucket before jumping on it to push it down further.
   Have you ever tried one of those exercises where an event happens and different people are interviewed to find out what they observed?  Everyone observes something different.  It’s harder than it looks, just because it is so unexpected.
   It happened so quickly.  I thought I saw him jump on the shovel.  I heard a popping sound and then he fell, his body curved around the shovel like a comma.  In my memory, it is like a short video that plays over and over in my mind.  He landed with his shoulders and head on the sidewalk, but I couldn’t tell where he hit.
    He might have been knocked out briefly, but I don’t even know that.  I asked if he was okay, but when he tried to say something to me, it seemed like his tongue was too thick to speak clearly. He tried to get up a couple of times, but I urged him to rest there a bit as I was afraid if he got up, he’d fall and really hurt himself.  
    I debated whether I should call for help.  If it was like his fall a few weeks earlier, he’d likely be unhappy that I called 911, but when I pulled my phone out, he didn’t object.  As I talked to the dispatcher he looked so uncomfortable there, that I ran into the house and grabbed a pillow and quilt from the couch. He raised his head so I could slip the pillow under him.  As we waited for the ambulance, a few raindrops started to fall, so I ran into the garage and got an umbrella out and put it over him to shield him.  
    Shortly before the ambulance arrived he turned himself onto his right side.  His arms were still clinched up near his chest….and they shook as if he was having a small seizure.  As the EMTs came, he was nauseated and had huge drops of sweat all over his face.
   Months later this is still the movie I see over and over in my mind as he falls over and over.  I start to second guess myself.  I shouldn’t have asked him to dig up that plant.  I should have stood behind him. I should have called for help without waiting a few minutes.
   It seemed like forever for help to arrive, but really it was just 12 minutes.  It was Wednesday morning, so one of the neighbor kids was mowing our park strip.  The EMT who got out first suggested she go mow somewhere else so they could hear.
   While one EMT started to check him out, the other asked me what had happened.  He wanted to know if I wanted them to just check him out or if I wanted them to transport him.  I was a bit surprised by that question.  Why would I call them if I didn’t want them to transport him? Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him respond once to the EMT, but after that he stopped making any sounds.
    They loaded him up and took him away while my neighbor tried to console me by telling me some less ominous things it could be.  I gathered up my things and went to the hospital.  I was hopeful.
   At the hospital I quickly parked in the lot nearest the emergency department but was stopped at the door to use hand sanitizer and have my temperature taken because the hospital was locked down due to the pandemic.  
   A lady was walking down the hall toward me, asking for me by name.  She introduced herself as a hospital social worker as she showed me into a small waiting room.  I said, “oh, this is bad!”  I remembered this scene from 1996 when I walked into Providence Hospital in Anchorage, when we were ushered into a similar small room….only to be met by a hospital chaplain, who told us my father-in-law had died.
    Still I hoped.
     The social worker said I could go back in a few minutes, but right now there were so many people in the room working on him and then he had to go have a CT scan.  As I was hearing these things, my optimistic nature was thinking that he had endured so many things and always popped back.  He had four heart attacks of various strengths due to his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam, resulting in four stents and finally double bypass surgery from 1998-2013
    Eventually she returned to take me to see him.  Before I could enter the room I was swathed in an enormous yellow paper gown and a mask.  She urged me to move closer.  I wanted to stay out of the way for all the people taking care of him, but then she said a most horrifying thing, “Go talk to him.  They say hearing is the last thing to go.”   The last thing?
    After just a few minutes by his side, the ER doctor asked me to sit down with him.
    “I’m sorry I have to be so blunt, but you need to make a decision, and you need to make it quickly.  Life Flight has already been called and they are only one minute out, so you have to decide what to do in that one minute.”  Life Flight?  That is for critically ill  people!  “He has a skull fracture and internal bleeding in his head.  If he stays here he WILL die.  If he goes to McKay-Dee, the neurosurgeon there could operate possibly depending on what he finds.  If they do surgery, he could be impaired.”
   How do you decide something like that?  I understood the urgency.  I thought how hard he worked to be healthy after all his heart problems…exercising and changing his diet.  He had said many times, when he died he hoped to go in the blink of an eye.  He was horrified at the thought of being impaired so someone else would have to take care of him.  Was I being selfish in wanting them to fix him?  To give him a chance?
   The room suddenly filled with the Life Flight  people.  There was no time left, so I agreed to have him transported.  Before I knew what was happening, we were out the door of the emergency room, running and rolling him down the sidewalk and across the road to the Life Flight helicopter.  It was so small!  How could they all fit?  They put him in first, having to turn him 90 degrees, then pushed me close to the door to tell him goodbye.  Was it goodbye until later or was it really goodbye for good?   The flight nurse wrote down my phone number and promised to call when they landed.  I felt a giant hole inside as they lifted off.
   The doctor had told me if they did surgery they wouldn’t know how successful it would be for at least 72 hours, so I hurried home and grabbed enough clothes to last me for three days.  I couldn’t leave the house because the phone kept ringing.  First a social worker from McKay-Dee called to ask some questions, then the flight nurse called to let me know they were safely in Ogden.  Of course, I was also trying to update the children.  Then neurosurgeon #1 called, followed minutes later by neurosurgeon #2.  They were united in their opinion.  Nothing could be done.  There would be no miracle surgery.  There would be no bouncing back.  They agreed to keep him under observation until the inevitable happened, so by the time I left the house, I already knew the ending.
  When I arrived at McKay-Dee he had been moved to the ICU.  Two of the children were there.  The other three were on their way, but had further to travel.  The goal was to help him stay with us until the children could get there to say goodbye, but even that couldn’t happen.  Because of restriction caused by Covid-19, the maximum amount of visitors to a patient was four, and only two at a time. We have five children.  Counting me, that was six potential visitors.  On top of everything else, they wanted me to choose which two of my children would not be allowed to tell their father goodbye!
    Knowing our situation, the nurses were kind, asking if there was any way they could help us.  The one help I wanted couldn’t be given.  When they asked again, I told them they couldn’t help because of the limit on visitors, but I so wanted him to have a blessing.  The nurse said she would look into it.  When she left the room, the doctor told me that if she couldn’t make it happen, he and the next doctor coming on duty would do it, for which I was most grateful.  It wasn’t long before the nurse brought in a CNA and a hospital security guard who gave him a blessing.
   Perhaps that is why the hard choice was removed from me.  It was shortly after that the nurse came in and said his blood pressure and heart rate were unstable; that sometimes that meant the patient was ‘transitioning’.  They had the monitors in his room turned off so we couldn’t see them, but they were monitoring him from the hall just outside his room.  Just as the nurse finished what she was saying I saw her glance at the hall and say, “Oh!”  The doctor hurried into the room and took his pulse, then looked at the nurse and said, “time of death, 18:45.”
   Blaine hadn’t made it to Las Vegas yet.  Bethany and her family were somewhere in Wyoming.  Kathleen’s flight wasn’t until the next morning.
   Maybe it was the blessing or maybe it was just meant to be.  I didn’t have to choose who could see him.  Instead he just peacefully slipped away…about the closest thing to the blink of an eye that could be imagined. Primrose 43 signed off for the last time.

Proud to be an American

Today has been a little bit hard…our country’s birthday.  He loved his country and served for many years, first in Air Force ROTC, then active duty as a Marine in Vietnam, with the Navy Reserve and finally retiring from the Alaska Army National Guard.  He suffered frostbite, broken ribs, camped out at -60F, walked patrols at 120F and was exposed to Agent Orange, He proudly saluted the flag.  This is the first 4th of July he has missed since 1947.

Armistice Day

Another mystery came to light today.  I suppose it will never be solved as the people involved have both passed on.

I came across a handwritten poem today.   The author of the poem is given at the bottom as Kay Freeman, who is my uncle, but the handwriting I believe to be that of Kay's mother, my grandmother, Ruby Kotter Freeman.

Kay was born in 1921, not long after World War I...or The Great War as it was called at that time.   His school years came along well before World War II, so as a young person, World War I was the part of history he would have probably heard a lot about.  His father had returned from France just a couple of years before he was born.   Did he write this poem for school?  Why did his mother copy it?
Does the original even still exist?  We may never know.

I don't know if the spelling mistakes were Kay's or Ruby's.  I don't know how old Kay was when he wrote it. I would imagine him as a school boy.

I have kept the original spelling.

Armistis Day

1.
Armistis day, you will remember
Comes on the 11 of November
This sure was a day of Joy
For every single soldier boy

2.
The whistles blew, the glad bells rang
And every where the people sang
The Boys were coming home at last
And everyone hoped very fast.

3.
But some of the boys were left behind
Their graves somewhere in France you’ll find
Marked with a cross of snowy white
Mid poppies red is a wonderful sight.

4. 
To these brave boys we owe so much
Who saved us from the Germans cluch
And so each year on this glad day
Honor to these boys we pay

Kay Freeman

The Spanish Influenza and World War I

The Spanish Influenza and World War I - seen through the eyes of the Freeman Family


At this time I have been thinking a lot about my great-grandparents, George Richard Freeman and Euphemia Jane Carter Freeman.  At the time of this writing, our schools and many other events have been canceled during a pandemic....something the Freeman family also experienced a little over a hundred years ago.  It was a time before many modern medical treatments were available.  In addition to living with the Spanish Influenza, they also had to worry about two of their sons who were serving in the military.

They must have been resilient people to carry on in those uncertain times.  May we take courage from their example as we undergo our own uncertain times.

These excerpts were taken from letters written by members of the Freeman family, mostly to one of the sons, Ernest, who was in France at the time and some of his responses to them.


                                                                    Ernest Freeman

25 October 1918 - France
I suppose you will be able to smell the gas in this letter because it is so strong.  It is the kind that makes you want to cry, too.   We are still in quarantine, but hope to be out soon.  - Ern

2 Novembre 1918 - France
We are still in quarantine.  We are all OK here.  Hope the “Spanish Influenza” has passed over your section of the country by now. It seems to be quite deadly over there, in many cases.  I’m glad I didn’t get it. - Ern

5 November 1918 - Brigham City, Utah
 For almost a month past, we have had no school in this part of the county on account of the Flu (Spanish Influenza) It sure has been going some here and is going yet, but so far all is well with the family as far as Flu is concerned.  We haven’t much doing now everything is closed on account of the Flu.  Haven’t been to church for seems to me an age. - Wilford - brother

7 November 1918 -  Camp de Rouge, France
It seems like the “Spanish Influenza” has made quite a complete trip around the world and it isn’t hard to see where it has been.  Needless to say, it was here, but has completely gone now.  Our quarantine for the “Influenza” was lifted last night, after about 5 weeks had passed.  We have learned to stay “home”, now.  Just like chickens, lock them up for a while and they will “hang around.” - Ern

11 November 1918 - Brigham City, Utah
They talk of opening the schools a week from now, all going as it is at the present time.  I hope that you will not get a taste of the flue, although they say it is all over the world.  - George Richard Freeman - father

11 Nov 1918 - Brigham City
Albert Anderson’s step mother is dead…died of the flue.  - EJ Freeman - mother

16 November 1918 - France
A few days ago, my cousin in England wrote  that her husband had just been killed in action. (October 29).  You know her younger brother was also killed a couple of years ago. - Ern

17 November - Brigham City, Utah
I let W. Bott read your letter.  Him and his folks have all had the flue.  Places are still closed  They talk of opening up about 25 November if all goes well.  Earl W. is home on furlough to get his strength normal as the flue leaves them so weak.  We surely had a time here last Monday beginning at 3:50 AM in the Sugar Factory and Cement Plant and fire whistles were blowing for nearly an hour, then Mayor Peters gave a speech at 4:30 AM.  They had a big parade…cars of all kinds, the new truck, and quite a bunch walking with the town band.  It was decided to erect a monument west of the Court House in honor of the boys of Box Elder Co.  - George Richard Freeman - father

17 November 1918 - Brigham City, Utah
This being Sunday and all church gatherings prohibited on account of the influenza, I thought I could spend my time no better than by dropping you a few lines.  It seems very peculiar not to be able to go to a meeting of any kind, but it gives one plenty of time to read the newspapers and keep posted on what you fellows are doing over there.  Last Monday at 4 AM the shriek of the fire siren and the ringing of the fire and Presbyterian bells announced the signing of the armistice.  Immediately the streets were filled with people and a bonfire was built on Main Street where Mayor Peters  explained to the people the terms of the armistice.  As this was too early to have a real celebration, 9:30 was fixed as the hour.  At this time, the people came out and celebrated in grand style.  All business was suspended and everybody declared it was the most glorious day of their lives. - M.L. Nichols - friend



18 November 1918 - Brigham City Utah
The Flu has been and is very bad here.  The schools and public places of all kinds have been closed for 5 weeks at this writing and no hopes for anything to open before December 1st anyway and it certainly has taken toll.  Nobody knows who’s next, but I don’t care for my turn.  We have 4 Docs in town and 3 of them were down at once, leaving the town and surrounding country for 1 Doc and had it not been for Dr. Weymuller getting his discharge from the army about a week or 10 days before they took down, we would have been doctorless.   - Harry F. - brother

23 November 1918 - Camp de Rouge, France
You were wondering if I got the “Spanish Flu.”  Decidedly not.  I haven’t time for such things.  I would be in the best of condition when most of the boys were on their backs.  If you have had the disease there for six weeks, you should be about thru with it by now.  I think you are all out of luck for turkey this year.  It looks like nearly all of the turkeys will be sent over here and the ducks, geese and chickens will be left for you folks. - Ern

24 November 1918 - Brigham City
We started your box (Christmas box) off last Friday.  Hope you will get it ok.  I wish it had been twice the size but we did the best we could with all public places closed and everyone has to wear a mask to go in a store or clerk in one.  It is quite amusing to see people around with a piece of gauze over their mouth and nose, but they have to do something as lots of people are sick and quite a few dying around and some in Brigham.  Sister S. lost her boy last Friday with the flue.  He was about 8 years old.  It is surely a terrible thing.  We have escaped so far but cannot tell who will be the next one.  I hope that it is not so bad in France.  I see by the paper that several of the boys in the band were down with it.  Hope they are all well by this time.  Everybody is glad the 145th are coming home again.  - George Richard Freeman - father

2 December 1918 - Brigham City, Utah
We see an account in the paper about the flue, but among the troops over there and I often thought about you boys.  Today’s paper tells us how to treat it if it should come our way.  It was written by a soldier from Salt Lake who belongs to the 145 F.A. (145th field artillery).  I am very thankful to say we haven’t had it - up to this writing, but it has been very bad in many places.  The people here have to wear masks when they go in any of the stores.  It sure seems funny not to go to Sunday School or meeting for about 6 weeks.  We don’t know what to do with ourselves.  - mother

2 December 1918 - Brigham City
Ida (Ernest’s sister) was up to nurse Leonora R.  She died at 10 0’clock this morning.  She came home to wait upon her father who had the flue.  They are all down with it now.  There is surely lots of sickness this fall.  They talk of opening school on Monday December 9.  It has been closed since October 20.  Quite a long recess.   Everyone is compelled to wear a mask who goes to work in a store or any public place.  It surely looks funny to see people around with their mouth and nose covered up but it is alright if it will do any good.  It’s surely a terrible thing if people are not careful.  We hope and trust that you will not come down with it. - George Richard Freeman- father

9 December 1918 - Brigham City, UT
We are all ok at present for which I am very thankful as there is so much sickness around us all the time.  Sister Kotter had all of them down with the flue, but I think they are getting along ok now, so Henry told me the other day. Will told me that Homer had got it up north.  It seems to be all over now.  There has been over 350,000 die in America since it started.  I am still doing mail as schools are still closed.  They opened churches and places of amusement in Salt Lake this week to see how they could make it, although they have quite a lot of the flue there at present.  People want to know when you are coming home.  We tell them we do not know.  Mrs. North has not heard any news from her boy since July. 
-George Richard Freeman -father



9 December 1918 Brigham City
I did hope you boys would not come back ’til the flue had gone, but we must hope it will be gone by then. It sure has been terrible.  It has took Jerry Shaw, the conductor on the O.L. and I.  I have a good time nowadays.  School has been shut up for the last 8 weeks and it don’t look like they will open this side of Christmas.  Meetings, pictures shows and everything is shut up on account of the flue.  We have to stay home nowadays so I am making plum puddings and mince pies ready by the time you get here.  Ida has been  very busy in Salt Lake with the flue patients.  She was here in Brigham looking after Leona Reeder.  It is Dave Reeder’s daughter, but she died so Ida went back to Salt Lake.  Leona was a nurse like Ida…took her training at the LDS.  Leona took care of Joseph F. Smith.  After he died she came home to Brigham to take care of her father with the flue and she took it and died. - mother

12 December- Camp de Genicart, France
We are not rushed with work because we are now in quarantine and the weather is very wet, with plenty of mud to go with it. - Ern

15 December 1918 - Brigham City, Utah
I have started a fire at the school today.  They expect to open this coming week.  It has now been two months since we quit.  It is surely a great thing to go around these days when there has been so much sickness, but I think the worst is about over now.  They are sure discharging  (the soldiers) quite fast now.  They want to bring the 145th to Salt Lake before they disband. - Geo. R. Freeman - father

18 December 1918 - Camp de Genicart, France
During the past few days a big fence has been placed around the camp and we have been placed in quarantine.We have also had our physical inspection and there is nothing holding us now, only lack of transportation.  Tomorrow we have an inspection and make our packs, and get ready to go, so I guess we will sure get out in a few days.  This will be my last letter written from France.  - Ern

1 January 1919 - on the ocean
We left Bordeaux the day before Christmas.  You should have seen our happy faces the morning we left.  It hardly seems possible that we are on our way home.  I suppose we will be there in a few weeks. - Ern

7 January 1919 - Camp Merritt, New Jersey
We arrived here after spending about 13 days on the ocean and landed in Hoboken, NJ on January 5. - Ern

We have no date for Ernest's exact return home.

26 March 1919 - Cheyenne, Wyoming
I had to leave home (Brigham City) in a hurry.  I didn’t know about it until just before noon and had to get out on the 3:30 car.  The train traveled very slow, but I got here just before noon and went right up to the fort where I got to see Bert (Ern’s brother who was in the army at Ft. Russell).  He looks quite sick and he is very sick.  He has pneumonia, an after-development of the “Flu” but he is much better now than he was a day or two ago, so he must have been ‘some sick’.  He is getting pretty good treatment and at present they are trying to break up his cold.  There is nothing I can do, only go and see him, and they will only let me stay about 30 minutes.  I can see him twice a day. I think he will be out of bed in a few days, or probably a week. - Ern

27 March 1919 - Fort Russell, Wyoming
Today Bert took somewhat of a back set and he isn’t in as good condition today as yesterday.  However, he has a good fighting chance.  His heart is very good and his fever not high, but his pulse is a little high and his lungs are affected.   I don’t know when I shall come back, but I cannot come for some time. - Ern

                                                  James Bert Wallinger Freeman   "Bert"


28 March 1919 - Fort Russell, Wyoming
Bert died today.  Ern  (Ernest accompanied Bert’s body back home to his family in Brigham City.  When the family got the telegram about Bert’s illness, they chose Ernest to go be with Bert.)